Posts tagged unemployment
Workaholics go to meetings
Chapter 4: The Package (part 1)
Feb 12th
Sometime deep into a closed door meeting it was decided that employees must be kept happy in their workplace. There was much debate about what mechanism would be used in this endeavor, but one fact was undebatable. Any benefits that were to be put in place, they were to come at a minimum cost to the company while providing the maximum effect for recruitment and retention. This is nothing new. Every company looks to keep costs down while keeping its workforce intact, growing, prospering. And every company looks to provide a wide enough array of benefits that it believes will satisfy those looking for something special, something that few others receive at their jobs.
The brainstorming made their heads spin and their tongues hurt, and it was then that the first ace was pulled out of a sleeve and set the bar for the illusion of comfort and stability. Following in the footsteps of companies that love and appreciate their employees, this firm decided to set a “no limit” PTO (Paid Time Off) policy. Sounds great, doesn’t it? It
sounded awesome when I first came across this concept. Just to think that there is no limit on how many days off I can take in a calendar year. No counting, no planning your days off months ahead. It started off that way for sure. No one in the company even gave this a second thought. If someone needed a day off, they just requested it, were granted it, and took it. If they needed a week off, same process. The trick for the supervisors was to look to the work ahead, rather than the amount of days off taken in the past. Nice and Easy.
In the grand scheme of things, however, this policy actually benefited the company as much as it benefited the employees. There’s something about human nature that keeps us civil, keeps us from taking advantage. With a policy devised specifically to be unlimited, it was remarkable how many people chose not to take advantage of it. And that’s where the company ate up the benefits. Grasp your mind around this concept – while there’s no limit on how many paid days you receive in a year, there are also no guaranteed days off. So if Joe Random worked his ass off for the entire year and took only 4 days off, there’s no fat check for the remainder coming. There’s no remainder to speak of. If Joe Random worked for a company that guaranteed employees PTO, even a basic package of say, 2 weeks vacation and 1 week sick, he would receive a check for the 11 days he didn’t take off. Or the PTO would carry over to the next year. Or if Joe was to quit or get fired, he’d receive a check for all the days that he earned and didn’t take. But not here. Here, if Joe took 2 days off or 12 days off, no one would really notice.
You did WHAT?
Nov 11th
Welcome to our first installment of “You did WHAT?” where we discuss the latest news in the world of stupidity that leads to people being fired.
First up today, Larry Jones has been fired from Feed The Children, the very foundation he started more than 30 years ago. This comes after a year ago Larry tried to fire several top executives, as well as his own daughter who is the general counsel for the foundation. Things turned ugly, courts were involved, and a judge ruled to reinstate the fired executives. The firing came when it was discovered that Jones placed recording devices in several offices. This week, Larry Jones
fired back with a lawsuit of his own claiming that he was fired because of “reasons of personal malice and spite.”
…this has turned ugly a long time ago and we can expect to continue hearing about this feud…but placing recording devices in people’s offices…come on Larry…
In Boston, a police officer has been fired for allegedly texting a pic of male genitalia to a woman. Officer Michael Gonsalves told the Times in August he did text a photo of male genitalia to a woman, but said it was a joke, according to the paper.
ugh… umm… I’m sure there’s plenty of context missing here, and I’m willing to give Gonsalves the benefit of the doubt here… I guess the bigger question is, who is this woman?… one thing’s for sure – she definitely didn’t get the joke…
Here’s another great story: A Florida middle school teacher has been fired for drawing a map of the United States with Florida resembling a penis. When questioned about the disproportionate looking map by his middle-schoolers, Ryan Haraughty said, “Florida got excited.” The school board claimed that Haraughty created a sexually hostile environment and fired him.
ok, well, obviously it’s not his drawing skill that got Ryan fired, but his comment that followed… it’s clear that there was no intent of wrong doing, and we all know that kids in middle school are already clued in that they weren’t dropped off by a stork… but it’s important to remember that (a) they’re still kids and sexually oriented humor is not appropriate and that (b) you’re in a classroom – an environment where you should at least try to maintain professionalism and respectability.
Finally, in Minnesota, over 1200 janitors employed by ABM have been fired after the company carried out an audit prompted by Immigration and Customs Enforcement.
1200… wow… imagine if they carry out an audit in California and New York… but that’s a lot of illegals out of a job… but worry not, Minnesottans, there’s plenty more immigrants willing to clean your offices…
Feed The Children
Better LATE than never
Nov 11th
I grew tired of my job and really wanted to quit but I couldn’t afford to go without a paycheck. I’ve been trying to get
fired for the past 6 weeks. I pulled out all the tricks in the book: I was late all the time, missed meetings, ignored emails, and failed to hand in assignments. And then it finally happened. I can’t believe it took 6 weeks for them to make this decision…and I thought that I made it so much easier on them to kick me out. Oh well! My boss told me that he was through babying me…are you kidding? This company’s moral is so low that most coworkers just congratulated me on finally moving on. EVERYONE in this company has their resumes out on Monster looking for a new job. This place is truly run without thinking of the people they employ. All I gotta say is GOODBYE and Good riddance!
This post was submitted by Moley.










